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JIEJA ZAINAL
Jalan P
Ramlee
Penang
Island
MALAYSIA
Jieja,
Ten years
ago, I’m 29 and you are 23. Some how we are not that
matured about love. Filling our life with love, both
giving and receiving is one of the difficult aspects of
our life to master. At least it was for me, for mine was
not always a lovable world. Nor are all people loving or
easy to love. None of us has the power to make someone
else love us. But we all have the power to give away love,
to love other people.
Jieja,
I could say
that our love is like the sun. Clouds may pass over it and
temporarily block its warmth. But the sun, like our
essence, continues to shine. More than ten years our lives
may move between joy and disappointment, but the love
within us never diminishes. We can ignore, hinder and even
deny this love, but we cannot destroy it. We can forget
love but love does not forget us. I don’t know why our
love is so strong, may be it involve pure inner chemistry
in our body.
Jieja,
I had to
learn not only how to give love but also how to receive
it. It is often easier to act in loving manner than to
acknowledge the love of others or to trust in the love of
others. I learned to fill my life with love by first
learning to love myself. I found that when I wasn’t acting
in loving ways to others, it was invariably because
something unacceptable was going on inside me. At those
times, it seemed that most of the people in my life were
bothering and annoying me. Fortunately, I discovered that
this bother was stemming from something missing within me,
from the lack of self-esteem (self-love) and it usually
had nothing to do with ‘them’. I knew that to fully love
others, first I had to feel love for myself.
Jieja,
It’s easy to
find fault in others, but much more difficult to look at
ourselves and our own faults with honesty. We’re often in
denial about our own faults; we don’t like to see them too
clearly. After taking a look at my own flaws, some of
which I could change, others of which I simply had to
accept. I was gradually able to recognize my faults as
part of me that needed ongoing work. Rather than insisting
that I was perfect and everyone else was to blame, I was
able to begin loving and accepting myself as never before.
And, having learned to accept and love myself, I was able
to extend love and acceptance to others. I was free to
start loving the less than perfect parts of other people
as well.
Jieja,
My last ten
years experience with you affected my outlook on my life,
filling me with a desire to become more loving individual.
I would like to think that I would have become more loving
anyway. Time and age have a way of encouraging this. At
this point in my life I don’t focus on the many reasons
why I wanted to become more loving. Instead, I try to
focus and act on the many possibilities for being a loving
person that arise each day.
One of the
ways I practice love is to think about how I would feel in
given circumstance if the roles were reversed. How would I
want someone to respond to me? I then try to act
accordingly. And you know, it really works, when we make a
genuine attempt to treat others as we compassionate, and
more tolerant. No one wants to be hurt or to be treated
unkindly or disrespectfully. And although many of us were
taught to treat others as we would like to be treated, we
usually insist that others extend this courtesy to us
before we do so. We have to reverse this process. If we
were the ones to offer love and kindness, even if we
didn’t always get something in return, we would live in
much more loving world.
As I focus
on being a more loving person, without worrying about what
I will get in return, I find that plenty of love does flow
into my life. I don’t have to do anything, it just
happens. People who are loving and giving attract kindred
souls into their lives, for it is easy to love those who
themselves love. They attract loving people and acts of
kindness into my life as me my self become more loving.
It’s a giant circle of love that begins with me.
It’s
important to love and appreciate the little things in
life, all the beauty that ALLAH has created. I know it
sounds terribly simplistic, but as I go about my day, I
try to appreciate everything I see: a bird, a tree, a
flower, a wave, something unusual happening. My goal is to
love what I see and to thank ALLAH for showing it to me.
We often
think the big things are what really matter, but that’s
not always true. Never underestimate the importance of
loving acts. One tiny kind deed can make a world of
difference and you may never even know it.
Jieja,
Thanks for
the moment of love you have given to me. I really appreciate it.
Even though we are not to be together, as you wish, I'm
always there to be your good friend. The ten years hope
still stand because there is no final date and I'm not in
rushing. For your info, I'm always open with Kak Long. She
knows everything about us. She appreciate your decision to
avoid me and send regards to you. Probably, she have the
same experienced like you before.
Your
sincerely,
A.S.H
BATU
FERRINGHI
PENANG
ISLAND
MALAYSIA
DATE:
6-6-2004
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